It began with the jar

To leave, to give up something you have cared for a long time. To let go of something and knowing that you may never have that exactly the same again. Me, the working person I will become a stay at home mom. It is difficult to comprehend.

After making the decision I have felt the thrill, excitement, empowerment, also fear, agony and sorrow.

One moment I´ll pack my stuff at work, the next I am thriving in a project I want to finish before I leave. Other moment I could not care less and the next I am upset for the fact that my replacement is not yet determined.

It has been pretty amazing to take a step away from that all and just digest it a little bit. What is going on?

The pressure of the decision is all gone. The decision is made. My energy level has gone up, by a mile. Creativity in me has woken up. I was in the grocery store. Saw a beautiful jar filled with great looking creek olives. I bought the jar. Left it on the counter in kitchen and the other day I started looking at the jar, I made new top on the jar and before I knew it I was digging my late grandma´s sowing kit to find a pretty ribbon on it. After I was finished, I felt the sense of relief. The same time wondering where this person has been lately?

Every day I get at least five topics for my books. Business ideas keep popping to my head. My biggest dream so far, the one I consider being the reason why I have born to this planet circles my mind all the time.

I have enjoyed taking a step outside of my thoughts and look at  my reactions and feelings. I can´t but wonder how close to work my identity really has been. Where does my work end and I begin. That I will find out in May when I leave work and become a homemaker for a change.

Amazing times aren´t they?
Martta