Give yourself time

I am not talking about this trendy "mommy needs some mommytime for herself". I simply mean the time you have to give yourself in order to achieve what you want. I am very good at wanting. I dare myself with new goals and ambitions and throw myself with great enthusiasm towards them. Not long after I keep wondering where is the change? Why am I not there yet?

I sometimes use tarot-cards to clear my thoughts. I used them today and for the first time I realized that time as "how long does it take until" does not excist on the cards. It tells me what I will be leaving behind and gives clues on what will be ahead, but they never give the timeframe. The timeframe is created in my mind. Where does that timeframe come from? Who defines how much time my matters take? Is is me? Should I go with the flow? Is this the time to go in unity with the universe, to trust that everything happens when thay are supposed to? Why is it so hard?

Few weeks ago I had real hard time accepting the fact that we can´t move to our new home by Christmas. It´s not the Christmas I was worrying about. It was the giving in part. I just couldn´t accept that. It took me a while before I let it go. My life didn´t change a bit. Everything is still fine, we are about three weeks late of our schedule. It really isn´t bad. But I just couldn´t bare the thought. And this is really small thing. When I took a closer look, I realized these kinds of things happen to me all the time. I dare myself in these great deadlines and I won´t take no for an answer. I keep pushing myself and people around me until we meet the demands created in my mind. I was surprised.

I am first to tell you that I am not a control freak. I am layed back , fun loving, easy going, flexible, or am I?

I take pride in being hard working, abitious and great at multitasking. I take care of my family, do my job well, somehow manage at building a house with my husband and yet somehow I am left with the feeling of not appreciated enough, not paid enough, not praised enough. How mad is that?

That´s why I say: "Give yourself time" That is my conclusion of all this. Give in, be weak. Take your time, adapt and DO NOT MULTITASK! Teach people around you that your task will be finished in time, but each task has a delivery time and that needs to be taken in consideration when doing business with you.

This is what I will be learning to do. (I hope it will not take too long. :) )
I go write down my next goal.